Some pastors are known for their notorious ways of collecting money from members, others are the good eggs while majority of them soil the name with their unscrupulous attitudes. Below are the things you will never hear from a Pastor... Mind you, this has got nothing to do with anybody, its just for fun. If you take it serious, you are on your own and I take it a bug exhibits more intelligence than you.
1. I totally respect your differing religious beliefs and you won't go to hell if you disagree with me.
2. The holy spirit is on fleek
3. Keep your offering today, you need it for food more than I need a new car
4. Take some back, you have donated too much
5. Please no offerings today. Keep your money and buy something nice for yourself.
6. Please folks, put your wallets away, Jesus doesn't need your money this month
7. I actually read my bible today and most of what I've been telling you isn't here
8. Today's hymn is a selection from AC/DC
9. Oh yeah, I agree, churches should have to pay Tax
10. I think its time for twerk lesson, drop it like its hot for the Lord.
11. I forgot to bring a bible for today's sermon, so I will just read you a verse from my iPhone
12. You have great tits
13. Let's skip this sunday
14. I now pronounce you man and wife, may I kiss your bride??
15. Anyone else feels like none of this shit makes sense?
16. Jesus loves to watch gay sex
17. I'm an atheist
18. I'm Jewish
19. Being gay is normal
20. Want to smoke some meth?